"Love One Another": from a Priest's Essay

Moderator's Note: the following is an excerpt taken from an essay "Effective Leadership Relationship Between Priest and Parish Council Members for the 21st Century" by Father Paul Palesty

On the eve of our Lord's betrayal and crucifixion, He gathered the twelve in the upper room where He celebrated the Passover, instituted the Holy Eucharist, washed their feet, and gave them a new commandment: Love one another as I have loved you...' Then He added, '...by this shall men know that you are my followers...' The relationship between pastor and Parish Council should manifest such love. Nothing less should be true of those who minister together. It is a wise and true leader who gives priority to the nurture of a loving, caring, supportive relationship between himself and those with whom he serves. This takes time ‑ much time ‑ but the priest cannot afford to do less.

This relationship must begin in the official council meeting. There the priest demonstrates whether he is a dictator, or a friend and servant, whether he thinks of himself as a member of a team of disciples or the head of an organization that is supposed to run according to his plans. He must understand that he is a servant to the servants of Jesus Christ, who is Head and Lord of the Church. The Parish Council represents the people whose needs the priest and parish council are committed to meet because of the Great Commission. It is a team ministry in which the Head of the Church guides and directs not only the priest, but every member of the official Parish Council. The priest should listen much more than he talks, and should avoid manipulative practices designed to influence decision, trusting the Spirit of God to guide the body in the will of God. Never should the pastor intimidate the Parish Council nor communicate the idea that they must decide as he wishes. Together they should seek the mind of Christ, which is more likely to be expressed through a consensus than through a simple majority.

This does not mean that the priest should not have ideas about which way things should go. As a matter of fact, he is responsible for giving leadership to the board. But if he uses threats, intimidation, or ultimatums in the Parish Council meetings, he is not exercising authentic leadership.