John Saltas Responds to "Protect Our Clergy"

Moderator's Note: Mr. Saltas has given us permission to respond to an e-mail sent by "Protect Our Clergy" here.

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Dear Person(s) who are holier than me:

As a writer myself, I want to compliment you on your improved style, story rhythm, and all around good story telling efforts. Fiction is my favorite genre, and your skills prove why.

Just a small couple of squibbles though.

1. With apologies to Inigo Montoya, I don't think the words "silent" and majority" mean what you think they mean.

2. When you query about "an ex-parish council member getting into a fight and having to be escorted from the premises" I get your deep wit. What I don't get is how you missed a former parish council president flipping the bird to the wife of our parish president. That had a richer context for sarcasm and it's too bad you didn't riff off that.

2A. On that same line, and recognizing the humor of your line, the ball was also dropped when you didn't take the opportunity to compare Sunday's fictitious scene to the real one a couple of winter's ago when the blessed and graced among you stood strong against the efforts of the mighty Kal Sargetakis and others to enter a warm church hall, making sure they shivered in the snow. Holier than thou indeed!

3. I'm not convinced, despite what I read here, that there are flaws in the budget, or proposed budget, or amended budget. Or whatever. A writing tip here: don't go to a well that has no water--it's plain as your glowing halo that a fellow who is bigwig with the San Francisco Reserve (Kapos, to name but one credible financial mind among those in charge of the budgets and audits), that your grassy knoll conspiracies just don't hold...uhhhh...water. Try again. I'm with you, you just didn't try very hard on this one.

4. With regards to orchestration of events during the assembly, I must compliment on the orchestration of your own, the walk out of less than 30 people (yes, I counted) in some sort of Masonic Priesthood brotherhood ritual. My question regarding that is who among you got the text or wink to move up and out first--or was it a group text? Look if you're going to make a "a large number of parishioners" leave, at least do it with the flair of David Copperfield or the mystery and magic of our fellow Greek, Chris Angel. Next time, everyone should disappear.

Otherwise, job well done!!

Take care.

Looking forward to the next email.

John Saltas
Your "secret" Admirer